8:30am: My staff escort me to an area of local greenery, where I take my daily morning walk. I find these walks to be essential opportunities for me to reflect upon the importance of my job and the importance of myself.
9:30am: I bound into the office and do my customary lap. Everyone is delighted to see me and they greet me with pats and chin scratches.
10am: Emma D looks like she’s about to try and pick me up again and I’m far too important for such shenanigans, so I go and sit on top of two cushions on the orange sofas. The colour complements my fur delightfully and the elevated height means that I can survey my
courtiers team well.
10:30am: Maddy returns to the office from a meeting. I greet her enthusiastically, as I’m hoping for a promotion (to CEO).
11am: I permit Emma D to give me a belly rub, but I remind her that my ancestors were the companions of royals.
11:30am: I doze off in my special bed. You need to be a tough negotiator to work in a literary agency and I refused to come to work at the MM Agency without the provision of two elegant areas for my repose. How can I be expected to focus on keeping everybody happy when I’m cranky?
1:30pm: Hannah T tells me that I missed a meeting during my little nap. I inform her that I am an icon and I don’t look this fabulous based on a mere 8 hours of sleep.
2:45pm: I spy another dog out of the window, possibly here to attempt to usurp my position at the MM Agency, so I start a shouting match that ends in the other hound’s retreat. Liane-Louise points out that my rival was, in fact, visiting the neighbouring photography studio. I insist that she’s very much mistaken.
3pm: I catch up with some of the Agency’s 2022 releases. All excellent, but I can’t help but think that each one would be improved with the inclusion of a gorgeous King Charles Cavelier Spaniel. I pass my thoughts onto my colleagues, which they all think are rather inspired.
4pm: It’s terribly hard work reading, so I nod off.
4:45pm: Rachel rudely interrupts my slumber to remind me that I have a meeting soon and she thinks that maybe I should turn up to this one. I tell her that she should let sleeping dogs lie.
5pm: Giles meets with me and asks me what I’ve done to spread wellness this week. I cite the earlier belly rub. He says that he was perhaps expecting a bit more effort on my part, so I steal his pen lid and chew it into a pulp. Now he won’t be able to put it back on his pen! I’m quite the evil genius if I do say so myself.
5:30pm: I ask Saskia, the Office Assistant, if she wants to become my Wellness Assistant instead, working exclusively pour moi. She says no. An unwise move, Saskia. Very unwise. When she has the audacity to suggest that I don’t have the authority to be making job offers, I flounce out of the office with my tail held high. That’ll show her.